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Asheville, NC

Call: 828.350.9960

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Hello --FNAME--, 

 

This month is National Recovery Month and SAMHSA has designated this year’s theme as “Strengthening Families and Communities,” which is why this advice may sound a little strange but here goes anyway…

 

The best way parents can help their sons in early recovery is to help them find a highly structured sober living program like ours and then:

 

Stop helping.

 

I know, it goes against every parenting instinct: Protect. Worry. Lecture. Check in. Lecture. Worry. Check in. Lecture. Worry. Check in… (you see the pattern).

 

Parents sometimes forget that the whole reason their son entered treatment was to learn how to take responsibility for his life - really take responsibility for it. Full responsibility. That process takes time. It takes separation from familiar fall backs and go to’s. It takes learning how to be accountable to themselves and to their future selves.

 

Our highly structured sober living program is designed to help men learn how to be accountable to themselves by first being accountable to our recovery community. We provide numerous accountability checkpoints throughout the week including case management, daily chores, mandatory 12-step and in-house meetings, securing a 12-step sponsor, random daily drug screens, required full-time work, school or volunteering, and an optional intensive outpatient program for those who need extra support in the critical early weeks of recovery.

 

Which brings us back to how parents can best help their sons in our program:

 

Let go.

 

And its corollary:

 

Trust the process.

 

We ask parents to trust that their son will learn how to change his self-destructive behavior, even if he seems resistant to the idea of change when he first enters our program. Most of our residents are resistant, reluctant, resigned, or in various stages of denial. We expect that. It’s a normal part of the change process called the “pre-contemplation stage” (more on that next month!).

 

Our program gives men the time, structure and support necessary to get used to a new, sober reality. It also gives parents time to get used to this new reality or even the possibility of it. Just as important, it gives parents the time to learn how to create healthy boundaries and heal from the trauma of addiction, which affects everyone in the family.

 

I understand I’m asking a lot of parents because I’m a parent too. Even though I’d worked in recovery for many years before having children, I still had to learn that I couldn’t provide everything my children needed. There were times when I had to ask others for help. There were times when I had to let my children stumble and fall. There were times when I felt helpless (and I was).

 

In the end, these were all important lessons because my children, like the men in our program, have had the opportunity to discover their inner strength, courage and resolve. All qualities that will help carry them through life long after I’m gone.

 

So, this is how Next Step Recovery works to strengthen families and communities—by helping parents let go of responsibility and by encouraging our residents to grab on to it. It’s not always easy. In fact, it takes a lot of hard work to break old habits and ways of reacting to stress. But it is always worth it.

 

Just like Rome, recovery isn’t built in a day but one step at a time. We’re grateful for all the families who have trusted us to help them take these powerful next steps toward healthy independence.

 

Sincerely,

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Susan Stader, MS, LPC, LCAS, CCS-I

Founder & Director

Phone: 828-350-9960

Email: susan@nextsteprecovery.com

 

The Ethics of Recovery

 

Honesty, integrity, respect, personal responsibility—these ethical principles are the foundation of all that we do at Next Step Recovery. We support every client’s right to access quality care, maintain their confidentiality, and find freedom from discrimination and stigma. We encourage you to review our complete Code of Ethics and to ensure that all of your service providers and colleagues are committed to the same high standards.

 

Racing for Recovery   

 

Racing for Recovery is holding its 16th annual 10k, 5k & Memory Mile Family Fun Run/Walk event on the campus of Lourdes University, 6832 Convent Boulevard, Sylvania, Ohio. The 5k/10k Run/Walk will begin at 9:00 a.m. An awards ceremony follows at 10:30am. Music, refreshments and family fun will be a part of the day.

 

Please participate and/or share! Proceeds from this race will benefit Next Step Recovery.

 
 
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