September 2017
Elul-Tishre 5777/5778
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An Offering of the TBM Days of Awe Video Series
From the Rabbi

If there was once a winter of discontent then this past summer has been the summer of discontent.  Everywhere we look we see division sometimes morphing into violence (a-la Charlottesville).  There are natural disasters like the flooding in Houston and the people of that marvelous city have, just now, only begun to quite literally pick up the pieces.  And politics is anything but politics as usual these days.   Add to that the international problems and specifically Jewish issues and the world feels like it is spinning out of control.It seems that everything is out of our hands and we have control over nothing.  

It is enough to give anyone a sense of the blues. That is why these Days of Awe are coming at precisely the right moment.

Rosh Hashanna and Yom Kippur are our holy days of affirmation that renounce futility and hopelessness in the face of the world. Where the world erodes our faith in ourselves and each other, these holy days teach us that quite the opposite is true.  We have control over ourselves and we can change and become the people we seek to be.  We can be better than we have been and we can interact with the world as if each person we meet is very Messiah himself/herself.  In fact, with few exceptions, you are the only person that can change you and only you have power over yourself.

Your prayers and thoughts and musings and ruminations during the Days of Repentance and Awe can bring you to a holy place and wherever you will stand, it can be holy ground. What you pray in temple can be taken with you to be a part of you in the coming year.  

This can and ought to be a year of change.  We start by changing the way we live in the world and the way we live in ourselves.  The Days of Awe can help us get there.

Stella, SaraAnn, Naomi and Abraham and I wish you all the very best of the new year.  May the noble work of your hands be blessed and the holy work of your good deeds, mitzvot and gemilut chasidim bear fruit.  May this year be a year of blessing for all of us and a year of peace, respect, prosperity, and good for all the world.

Shanna Tova

From the Cantor
Cantor Marnie Camhi

I hope everyone had a wonderful summer! Here we are in September, about to begin the High Holiday Season. We start 5778 together with our new machzor (High Holiday prayerbook) called Mishkan HaNefesh. It is a beautiful machzor, filled with meaningful and thought provoking liturgy and readings—both the expected and some new. All of the music you have come to expect will all be included, as will some new songs that reflect the new liturgy of our new machzor.

Rabbi Cy and I hope that you will enjoy the new machzor and how it will enhance our High Holiday worship experiences!

Shanah Tovah, Shanah M’tukah! (A good and sweet year!)

Cantor Marnie
From the Principal
Stella Stanway

As we prepare to begin the new school year, I can't help but reflect what this time must be like for our children. Having been a parent of young children, albeit a while ago, and also a longtime teacher of young children, I know that they have many questions, concerns and insecurities about school. 

Will I have friends?
Will my friends be there?
Will they still like me? What if they don't like me?
What if it's too hard?
What if I don't like it?
What about my teachers?
Will they like me? 
Will they be nice or mean?
What if this? What if that?

The return to school can be a stressful and exciting time, and then there's religious school.  Unfortunately, the religious school experiences of our student body's parents does not always have a great reputation.  It really bothers me to hear parents say that they endured it, that it was boring and that it was expected. Thing is, that was their experience, and theirs alone.

Today our approach is vastly different because child rearing and the entire childhood experience is vastly different than it was 30 years ago when these parents were in school. Synagogue life was very much a top down situation-today, the leadership is in partnership with the congregants, and is accountable to meet their needs, not dictate requirements.

So when your child shows doubts about coming or shares any negative impressions, make sure you listen but also help your child understand why it's important to you that they get as much out of our program as possible.  We understand that today, lessons have to be as engaging and as fun as possible, and our faculty really works hard to achieve that.  

But here is where what we want versus what is possible can conflict.  All parents who bring their kids to us want their kids to learn all about our Jewish heritage, our traditions and our links to the past.  All parents who bring their kids to us want their kids to feel a connection to the greater Jewish community.  And all parents want their child to calmly and with confidence lead services and read from  the Torah perfectly....well, maybe not perfectly...yeah, actually, perfection would be ideal.   

Perfection or almost perfection or even 'good enough' cannot happen with just fun for prep and background.  Mastery (the educational term for 'perfection') comes only with lots of repetition, lots of practice, and lots of sweat....none of that sounds like fun to me, but, as we all know, the result is ALWAYS worth it.

So the next time your child balks, or complains that sometimes it's boring, remind them that anything that is to be done with mastery does require some sweat....ok, a lot of sweat, in fact, it takes struggle, and the harder the struggle, often the greater the reward, the greater the result.  Just look at any sports figure or professional of any field.  Getting 100 on a test usually requires work.  Passing the driver's test requires work. Learning to read Hebrew requires work too.  This idea is even present in our tradition, as it is said,  “L’fum tzara agra, according to the effort is the reward” (Ben Hei Hei, Ethics of the Fathers, 5:2). 

Remind them that their teachers really care about their students and what they are teaching and that we are all rooting for them.  The faculty and I wish our students a wonderful new year full of fun, full of enriching  and meaningful experiences and also full of sweat and struggle...because it's worth it!

Stella J Stanway
Beth Miriam is teaming up with The Windmill to collect underwear for our friends in Houston, many who have lost everything.  We are requesting new underwear, socks and bras, all sizes.  Men's and Women's underwear and socks, all sizes, all colors are welcome.  We need NEW clothing of any kind, as well.  REMEMBER, ALL DONATIONS MUST BE NEW, NOT USED.  We also need NEW flip-flops, Crocs, and shoes.

Drop off your socks and underwear, etc., to the temple and we will take it from there.

Thank you!

Drop off your socks and underwear, etc., to the temple and we will take it from there.  

For even more details, see the flyer below

Thank you!

The Men's Club is having our fundraiser with RHHoney.  You can order an 8 oz. bottle of kosher honey, send it with a personalized message, and help support our TBM Men's Club.  There are no shipping or handling costs.

Go to  Enter TBMhoney when it asks for our "coupon".  The price is 12 dollars a jar.

Barry Edison
President of Men's Club
Be Rabbi Stanway's Guest in the Sukkah for dinner on October 10 at 6 PM if you joined Beth Miriam in 2016 and 2017!  Families are most welcome.  Kids are welcome!  Every new member of the temple is welcome!  There is no charge for this dinner as we will get a chance to meet one another, share a great dinner and wave the lulav. 

Call the temple at 732-222-3754 to sign up and let us know you are coming.  We are looking forward to seeing you there!

Men's Club Softball Returns!

As the unofficial end of summer approaches and we gear up for the High Holidays, lets play softball.....

Our last game Men's Club game of the season against Monmouth Reform is Sunday, September 17 at 9am. The game is at Oakhurst Fireman's Field.

I am looking for all players, including women and young adults. Monmouth Reform is a co-ed team.

Please let me know if you can play.


Barry Edison

President of Men's Club

Very Important Office Announcement

As you know, Shari Nightingale is no longer the administrator of the temple.  We wish her the very best of everything in her new position and thank her for her years of dedicated service.

This has caused a few disruptions in the office and we want to bring them to your attention.

Frankie Langer, our office assistant, is our new administrator.  She brings her experience and love for the temple to the job.

We are in the process of finding a new assistant to take Frankie's place.  Since Frankie was responsible for the Bulletin, there will be something of a disruption until we can get back into the normal swing of things. This means that we will rely on Elijah to get the word out about announcements and other important information.  The monthly bulletin will contain only yahrtzeits, birthdays, a calendar and the like.  In other words, the bulletin will be limited in scope as we rely on Elijah and the temple website ( to get the word out.  We realize this is inconvenient for some people who do not have email and we are making every effort to rectify the situation.  Please bear with us.
TBM Sisterhood Back to (Hebrew)School Luncheon
September 10, 11:30

Join us on Sunday, September 10th at 11:30a.m. for lunch after the first day Religious School!

FREE with an RSVP before September 6th or $5 at the door.
Religious school students have an 11:30a.m. dismissal.
Sandwiches, wraps, salads and more!
Please drop in the temple to RSVP or use

Nominating Committee is taking Nominations

The Nominating Committee will meet on or about October 9, 2017. Pursuant to Section 6.02 of the Bylaws anyone interested in serving on the Board of Trustees should communicate with Michael Gross, the Chairperson of the Nominating Committee. He can be reached during the day at 732-219-5486 or
Listening Campaign Update
We Listened and we are happy to share with you...

And we are happy to share with you the first two initiatives that emerged from our Listening Campaign.

After examining all of the data from our project, a group of themes emerged. We decided to focus on the areas that resonated with the most congregants.

Many people shared a passion for social justice. They would like to band together and use their collective voice to impact social issues. Judy Berg will be organizing a meeting of the congregants who expressed an interest on Sunday, October 22 11:30 at the temple. Of course, every congregant is welcome to attend, even if he or she did not participate in the Listening Campaign home meetings. If you plan on attending, please email Judy at

Many congregants shared a desire to nurture our temple and greater community through food. This may include a cooking class, or providing meals to our congregants. Lori Goldstein will be organizing a meeting on Sunday, September 17th at 9:15 at the temple. If you plan on attending the meeting, please email Lori at

We felt that these themes would be a good place to begin. If the groups work well and the participants find them meaningful, we can tackle other themes that were shared at the home meetings.
Dear Congregants,

Shana Tova 5778! It’s time to reflect on the past year, gather with family and friends, remember those passed and attend High Holiday services. It’s also a time to think about apples & honey, who’s making Rosh Hashanah dinner this year, and what on earth will I wear to services?!?

Here at Beth Miriam, we have something for everyone! Our schedule of High Holiday services is included in this issue of the newsletter. Along with the traditional erev holiday and morning services, we offer children’s services, afternoon services which are open to everyone, and this year, brand new prayer books to make the holidays special.

There are a few things to remember as we go into the holidays:

If you haven’t already remitted your dues for 2017, please do so as soon as possible. Members must be in good standing to receive their holiday tickets.

Be sure that your guests have received their tickets.

If you are participating in the Book of Remembrance, there may still be time to add your loved ones to the list before we go to print.

We wish you Shana Tova, a sweet year with the best of health, love and peace! May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year.

Frankie Langer
We are happy to introduce Dr Josh Cohen and Dr. Diana Sanchez and their two children Noa & Mateo to our TBM family.

A big welcome to Cynthia Meier from Ocean! We are happy you have joined our family!

We also would like to welcome Chris Brandl and his wife Reyna Spizz Brandl and their two twin daughters Chloe & Adrienne

Welcome to Fred and Lynn Cohen who are from Farmingdale.  We are delighted you have become part of the Beth Miriam family!

B'ruchim HaBaim!

TBM Oneg Shopping

We would so appreciate if you would volunteer to help with our weekly oneg.  It would be wonderful for everyone to take part in one of our wonderful onegs.


- Items can be dropped off in the TBM kitchen the week of your oneg on Wednesday or Thursday 10-4, or Friday 10-2. If you are attending services and would like to bring the items with you, please arrive no later than 1 hour before services. REMEMBER that starting September 9, services resume at 7:30. Please use the labeled areas in the refrigerator, freezer, and on the counter for the purchased items.
- Please provide at least 5 different items. Although we ask you to pick at least some items from the categories below, please feel free to put your own flair on the foods for that week. You can get more items from any of the lists if you like, add an interesting item not listed, or maybe bring things made at home. Variety is always nice! Remember, no shellfish or pork of any kind, please.

List A - Pick at least 2: Berries, Pineapple, Grapes, Melon
List B - Pick at least 2: Cookies, Brownies, Cupcakes, Other Small Portion Cakes
List C - Pick at least 1: Cheese and Crackers, Dips (Hummus, Spinach, Veggie, etc.) and Chips/Bread, Frozen Appetizer, Small Veggie Platter

- Items do not need to be cut up or plattered, but if you have the time it would be greatly appreciated.

- If Sponsoring - If you would like to donate the purchased items and be listed as a sponsor, please notify the ladies in the office by calling or filling out an "Oneg" envelope no later than the Wednesday of your week. We are grateful for your time and generosity!

- If Shopping only - Thank you! Your time is valuable and we greatly appreciate it. Using an "Oneg" envelope, receipts with your name can be left in the office or in the white mailbox outside the office for reimbursement. Total to be reimbursed should be a maximum of $40.
Yahrtzeits for September
We remember all these people with love and respect...
September 1

Dorothy Abrams
Eugene Amron*
Harry Barr
Noah Bergman
Sam Brodie
Frances Browse
Evelyn Casner*
Sidney Farber
Marvin Finkelstein
Kitty Fried*
Estelle Gabel
Mollie Guntman
Frank Haas
Samuel M. Heimlich*
Gladys Kaufman*
Augusta Kaye*
Michael Klein*
Eileen LaRue
Henry Lawrence
Aaron Lefkowitz*
Sarah Levine*
Sheila Lukins
Louis Miller
Robert Reisler
Harry Rosenstein
Hattie Silberstein*
Ida Singer
Adeline K. Wormser

September 8

Richard Bascom
Moritz Cohen
David Cramer
Miriam Falk
Morton Fastov
Ronald Fleck*
David Furman*
Kate Garland
Harold Geltzeiler*
Lauryn Giannone*
Jack Goodman
Leland Gottstein
Harry Greenberg
Keith Grossman
Jacob Hershoff
Bobby King Baker
Henry Moroase
Barbara Peters
Eugenia Reschke
David C. Rose
Edward Rosen
Barry Segall
Morris Sherman*
Lisa Storm*
Irving Strum
Milton Susman
Jay Weisman
Lillian Weiss
Livia Werfel
Sophie Ziment


September 22

Gerson ( Buddy) Abramson*
Pearl Barrett
Leo Beckwith
Sophie Berger*
Rachman Berke
Gus Berman
Albert Brandt*
David Budner
Miriam Carlin
Harold Davis*
Marc Eber
Max Feldman
Arthur Frankel*
Mark Gellis
Sophie Goldfarb
Julie Goldman
Charlotte Haas
Jennie Hershoff
Jay Kallman*
Sadie Katz
Carolyn Kirshbaum*
Sidney Krauss
Mark Kremens*
Madeline Lazarus*
Jennie Levy*
Jopseph Martin
Norman Nathanson*
Ted Petty
Barnett Rochestie*
Lionel Rosen
Frieda Schneider
Bud Shapiro*
Jeffrey Steinberg*
Sam Weiss
Leo Zieve

September 29

Gordon Berkow
Samuel Bloch*
Sol Brooks*
Ralph Farella
Abraham Fisher
Edgar Garland
Marilyn Glaser*
Elizabeth Griffiths
Claire Hecht*
Margaret Helpin
Isabelle Hirshfield
Flora Hollander*
Joan Hollander*
Isodore Levitt*
Solomon Marcus*
Howard Nashel
Rachel Negin
Ruth Raskin
Bart Rogers
Dolores Rosen
Isidore Rotwein*
Shirley Rubenstien
Mary Satsky*
Clementine Sostman*
Frances York
Rita Ziff*
Saturday, September 16
Selichot Service 6:30 PM - Everyone welcome!​​​​​​​

Wednesday, September 20
Erev Rosh Hashanah 8:00 PM

Thursday, September 21 Rosh Hashanna

Children’s Service (1-5yrs) 9:00 AM - Everyone welcome!
Morning Service 10:00 AM
Afternoon Service 2:00 PM - Everyone welcome!

Friday, September 22
Second Day Rosh Hashanah Morning Service on the Patio (weather permitting) - 10:00 AM Everyone welcome!
Shabbat Shuvah Service 7:30 PM Everyone welcome!

Sunday, September 24
Cemetery Service 10:00 AM  Everyone welcome!

Friday, September 29
Kol Nidre 8:00 PM

Saturday, September 30 Yom Kippur

Children’s Service (1-5yrs) 9:00 AM Everyone welcome!
Morning Service 10:00 AM
Afternoon Service Open to All 2:00 PM  Everyone welcome!
Approaching the Ark 3:30 PM  Everyone welcome!
Yizkor (Memorial) 4:00PM (approx.)  Everyone welcome!
Neilah (Closing) 5:30 PM (approx.) Everyone welcome!
Beth Miriam is Grateful for the Following Contributions...​​​​​​​
Norty Kern Youth Scholarship Fund
In memory of my mother Irene Barnett
-Elaine Espey

Family Affair
In memory of Robert Lysaght
-Judy Benn

In memory of Heidi DeAndrea
-Judy Benn

Roz Nagel Fund
In loving memory of my husband Jay.
-Fran Cohen

The Milton Ziment Fund for Scholastic Achievement
In honor of Dr. Barry Edison in appreciation of his effort of being Men's Club President.
-Alvin & Amy Goldman

Rabbi's Discretionary Fund
Get Well soon Col. Alan Sherman.
Mazel Tov on the birth of Jack & Sam Bank.
In memory of Nathan Daniels .
In memory of Bella Doctorow.
In memory of Hy Feinstein.
In memory of Tom Gavin Sr.
-Lt. Col. Ron & Meryl Ledwitz

In memory of my daughter Heidi C. DeAndrea.
-Dr. Erwin Tepper

To Rabbi Cy Stanway
In honor of Ethan Jacob Hodes' baby naming
-Susan & Harold Hodes

In memory of Reba Cohen
-Mark & Kathy Cohen

In memory of Heidi DeAndrea, Dr. Erwin Tepper's daughter.
-Judy & Arthur Topilow
Rabbi Joseph Goldman Fund
Dr. Irwin Tepper, In memory of your beloved daughter Heidi
-Michael & Marian Gross

In memory of Heidi DeAndrea, daughter
of Dr. Erwin Tepper.
-Dr. Sidney & Shelley Schultz

In memory of David Goldsmith
-Mark & Kathy Cohen

Conn Music Fund
In honor of our daughter's first year in Israel at Hebrew Union College.
-Alvin & Amy Goldman

Wish LIst
In memory of Renee L. Sachs
-Keith Sachs

Heimlich-Aaron Library Fund
To Randi Spector, Ellen Bressler & Debbie Goldberg in memory of your mother
Mimi Yeuson.
To David Kasoff in memory of your sister
Mimi Yeuson.
-Richard & Norma Daniels

In memory of Theodore Auerbach
- The Auerbach Family

Tzedakah Fund
In memory of Tom Gavin, Sr.
- Harry & Sharon Silverman
Temple Beth Miriam Funds List 
Tree of Life - $180
The Yahrzeit Memorials -$500
Prayer Book Fund (inscribed $36)
Social & Community Action Fund
Family Affair
Heimlich –Aaron Library Fund
The Endowment Fund
Centennial Fund
Tzedakeh Fund
Rabbi Joseph Goldman Fund for Jewish Learning
Religious School Renovation
Heimlich Memorial Scholarship Fund
Dorothy Hirsch Scholarship
Rabbi Discretionary Fund*
(Separate check payable Rabbi Discretionary Fund)
 Cantor Discretionary Fund*
(Separate check payable Cantor Discretionary Fund)
Roz Nagel Fund for Religious School Special Projects
The Carolyn Meyer Memorial Lecture Fund
Neimark Shabbaton Institute
Berg-Bialek Youth Leadership Retreat Fund
Conn Music Fund
The Norty Kern Youth Scholarship Fund
Arthur & Hazel Harmon Fund
The Milton Ziment Fund for Scholastic Achievement
Sonya Grossman Art & Beautification Fund
Temple Beth Miriam Wish List Fund
The Katz Family Fund
Temple Beth Miriam Camp Fund
Library Shelves  - $1,000
Evelyn Blank Choral Fund
Pess Family Youth Group Fund
Teacher's Endowment Fund
Happy Birthday

Al Fried
Marian Jewell
Eric Blumenfeld
Jerold Wagenheim
Deborah Deener
Heather Foster
Julie Gillet
Ian Farber
Sara Phox
Meryl Ledwitz
Ryan Gerbman
nadrea Susman
Emily Feldman
Barbara Bascom
Joanne Eichenbaum
Jacob Vernick
Kevin Miller
Mark Flamendorf
Spencer Torine
David Lambert
Vita Sworkin
Layla Lippsett
Robert Skolnik
Rickie Kashdan
Aaron Gillet
Steve Singer
Sallie Haas
Kimberly Suchodolsky
Jack Girard
Karina Lehman
Rachel Miller
Sadie Cotler
Mira Casriel
Phyllis Segal
Max Schatzow
Sandra Maseda
Alan Bonnar
Susan Stone
Leonard Berkeley
Samantha D'Esposito
Kyle Moore
Adam Herbert
Emily Schwadron
Jonah Blumenfeld
Brianna Wall
Kara Lowenstein
Samuel Fromkin
Derek Moore
Jonatrhan Fabricant
Ysabella Lehman
Alexandra Preston
Eve Segal
Ilana Goldman
Brooke Fromkin
Patricia Shapiro
Happy Anniversary

Richard & Jan Auerbach
Marvin & Barbara Steinberg
Sean Morin & Melissa Morgan
Alan & Joni Darnell
Dennis & Jill Herbert
Bob Kaye & Diane Upright
Peter & Josephine Grayson
Eric Blumenfeld & Annie Raulerson
Jason & Stacie Harkavy
Steven & Danielle Reisler
Bill & Janet Fromkin
 Mazel tov to all who celebrate this month
Mazal Tov, Kevin

Mazal Tov to Kevin Miller who will be called to the Torah as a bar mitzvah on September 9 at 10 AM.  Everyone is warmly welcome to worship with Kevin and his family.
AnchorNeed to get in touch with your board representative?

President Harry Silverman
Rabbi Cy Stanway
Cantor Marnie Camhi
Religious School Principal Stella J. Stanway
Administrator Frankie Langer
Youth Group Leader Stella Stanway
Building Superintendent Rosy Franceschy 732-762-4335
Fund Allocation Bob Kellert
House Committee Keith Kaplan
Investment Comm Harry Silverman
Membership Steve Silver
Rel. Sch. Bd. Wendy Sloter
Sisterhood - Point Persons Debbie Gerbman
Cindy Singer
Relig. Pract. Sharon Silverman
Special Events Bob Kellert
Youth Group Gary Pess
Social Action Steve Peckman
Programming  Mark Cohen
Fundraising Steve Peckman
Immediate Past President Michael Gross
Vice Presidents Robert Kellert
Treasurer Lori Goldstein
Mark Cohen
Men's Club Barry Edison
Secretary Emily Feldman
Leonard Berkeley
Danielle Delcuore
Emily Feldman
Chase Kaplan
Heather Foster
Steve Silver
Brian Gillet
Alvin Goldman
Lori Goldstein
Marian Gross
Bob Kellert
Stuart Lippsett
Andrea Phox
Patricia Shapiro
Sharon Silverman
Wendy J. Sloter

Rabbi Emeritus z'l Joseph Goldman
Religious School Calendar