The story of Sam
My client Sam, was a small business owner. He was driven to success of his business. After dinner at night he would make business calls and work on his computer and go to bed and had no time for his family. The disconnect with his family was so severe that over the weekend he would work his business or watch foot ball on tv in his home office.This behavior started ever since he started his business and had been going on for several years.
To make the story short, his wife felt he did not care for her or his children and they stated having problems in their marriage. It got to a point that his wife started talking about divorce which concerned him and it was at time when he called me for help.
My client knew that he was neglecting his wife and children, but his rational for his behavior was his thinking that he was doing to secure the future of his family and be able to send his children to college and in retirement live comfortably with his wife.
I brought to his attention the fact that if he keeps on missing the formative years of his young children now, this time will never come back for him to really get to know his children. As to his wife I said to him if he keeps on neglecting her personal emotional needs now when she needs it what kind of retirement would he have if she is no longer a part of your life.
He said that he understood what he needs to do, but he so over whelmed by work and he has to do and cant afford to hire someone to assist him. To help him deal with this issues, I helped learn how to manage his work load by conducting a master session over the week end to plan his coming week, set blocks of time to do certain projects he needed to do, set task priorities and get his work done at the office and not bring any work home and be there for his family. and connect with his wife and children to meet their emotional needs.
I also asked him to spend special time with his children and take interest in what they are doing and go to their school function and activities they are involved. After the children are in bed and dishes are done following dinner, every day sit down with his wife and talk to her over a cup of green tea and open a heart to heart dialogue with her In a few weeks he noticed warmth and love coming back to his family In our last session he he felt that by being there for his family helped him also to get organized and get his work done at the office.
How do We create Present Moment Awareness
In the earlier stages of its development, awareness may be generalized but over time it has to become sharpened and focused.this sharpened awareness is called
present moment awareness.
For example, a good foot- ball player has to be aware of the moment to moment developments on the field in order to remain focused to make it to the goal. A dancer has to be aware of the moment to moment movements they make, to create desired effects,
How did they develop present moment awareness to succeed in their craft? It took lot of hard work and sweat to accomplish and perfect their craft. Is there an easier way to accomplish present moment awareness? Yes, there is, it is called mindfulness which is a sharpened state of present moment awareness and can be developed with the practice of mindfulness meditation